Episode 12: A Quickie: Depression & Dry Spells


I know I can’t be the only one struggling right now.

These last few weeks have been hard (to say the very least), and I personally have been doing battle with some really dark and heavy emotions because of it. It’s been hard to hold it together. It’s been hard to find hope in humanity. It’s been hard to feel steady on my feet.

And, it’s no surprise in the face of these hard times that sex has been the furthest thing from my mind and body.

If I’m honest, this only goes to add more insult to energy. I feel down on myself for not being up to it, for not feeling sexy, but I also feel angry that forces—both seen and unseen—are zapping me of my sexual vitality.

It’s just hard. It’s all been so hard.

And I needed to sit down to process all of it aloud.

In this episode of the Sexually Liberated Woman podcast, I talk about. . .

/ Some of the hard emotions I’ve been dealing with and where exactly they’re coming from.

How depression is affecting my sex life.

/ And what I’m doing to cope—both with depression and the dry spell.

“It’s hard to feel sexy when your entire world at the moment feels so utterly unsexy.”

I feel really vulnerable sharing all of this with you, but my hope is that in standing in and speaking my truth, maybe you’ll feel less alone as a result.

Press play to listen. (Or listen on Apple Podcasts or Spotify.)

(Transcript of this episode here)

Some things mentioned in this episode:

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Bonus! My Methods of Self-Care (the little things I’m doing to take care of myself)

This is short list of some of the things I’m doing as I wait for this depression and dry spell to pass. Please steal from this list. Even if you can only muster to do one act of self-care, it’s so important that you take care of yourself.

1. Yoga—nothing too fancy or strenuous, just light stretches and taking time to be with my breath and feelings. I really like this free yoga video.

2. Reading poetry. Nayyirah Waheed’s salt. is getting me through these rough times.

3. Staying off of Facebook as much as I can. Admittedly, I’m not doing a very good job at this because a portion of my work has to do with Facebook, but this nifty little appthat hides the newsfeed is making being on it much easier.

4. Cooking from scratch. Chopping vegetables is surprisingly cathartic. (I actually made this soup last night with zucchinis from my garden.)

5. Riding my bike as much as possible, blasting Kendrick Lamar’s Alright while I ride. Other music I’m listening to: GrouperKaytranada, and Soulection Radio.

6. Being very selective of who gets my time and energy right now—including the people I text or speak to on the phone.

7. Watching a lot of Top Chef (it’s one of the only shows that I can watch that isn’t triggering me; it also gives me an appetite).

8. Spending time outside, looking at my fast-growing food garden, putting my feet in the cool earth.

9. Shameless beautification—painting my nails, tweezing my eyebrows, and twisting my hair. Doing these things keeps my hands busy, but also helps me feel more human and connected to my physical body.

What are you doing to take care of yourself right now? Would you mind sharing your self-care regimen with me? Just send me an email. Knowing that others are striving to be self-loving is really helping me stick with it.

Ev'Yan Whitney