Episode 16: A Quickie: Healing My Sexual Past

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When I was young, I was completely ignorant about sex.

Of course, the teenage me would’ve totally scoffed at this statement. I thought I knew everything about everything back then, particularly when it came to things related to the erotic. But I was so, so confused.

One of the first things I realized when I began to find sexual liberation was that who I was back then and everything I thought I knew about sex was totally dysfunctional, toxic, and misguided.

And because of this realization, I found myself spiraling in cycles of regret a lot—if only I had had a role model to tell me how wrong I was; if only I hadn’t have been so naive about what consent meant; if only I had prioritized my sexual well-being. . .

So many things would be different in my life if I had had more education, if I had been steered in a different direction. I think about that a lot too. I think about the woman I’d be if I had had a better understanding of things like consent, sexual identity, and my sexual anatomy.

It’s been really hard to not live in this regret, to not punish myself for all the things I didn’t know back then. And I’m not the only one. I’ve found that a lot of my clients struggle with this too.

We can’t change the past, and this self-flagellation we’re doing only makes it worse. What is there to be done about it?

Press play to listen. (Or listen on Apple Podcasts or Spotify.)

In this quickie episode of the Sexually Liberated Woman podcast, I chat candidly about. . .

/ The method I use to help me heal and move on from my sexual past (I actually give this as an assignment to my clients).

/ What triggered all this nostalgia in the first place.

And this:

“Fuck his feelings and his tears. Yours are more important.”

Ev'Yan Whitney