Episode 42: Consent is Actually Sexy with Jaclyn Friedman


Ev’Yan sits down with writer, educator and activist Jaclyn Friedman, to talk all about consent. They explore the change in how we view and talk about consent, from before Jaclyn wrote her first book, Yes Means Yes, until now. Jaclyn also breaks down the difference and importance of enthusiastic and affirmative consent, giving a new frame around what consent looks like in practice

Jaclyn gives real advice on how to bring sexiness and playfulness to boundary setting, and also encourages us to unlearn the idea that consent is a “vibe killer”.

Consent isn’t a “one and done” thing. It’s something that needs to be explored and engaged with in every sexual interaction you have. So bookmark this episode and share it with all of your friends/lovers.

What’s in this episode—

  • What affirmative consent looks like in practice

  • How to make consent talk sexy while you’re in the act

  • Ev’Yan’s own struggles with bringing consent into her relationship

  • How to find a comfortable way to say “no” to a partner (and how to say “yes”)

  • What it looks like to create a relationship with consent within yourself


Press play to listen to the conversation. Or listen on Apple Podcasts or Spotify.

For a transcription of this episode, click here.

Mentioned in this episode:

Jaclyn Friedman is a writer, educator and activist, and creator of three books Yes Means Yes: Visions of Female Sexual Power and a World Without Rape (one of Publishers’ Weekly’s Top 100 Books of 2009), What You Really Really Want: The Smart Girl’s Shame-Free Guide to Sex & Safety, and her latest, Unscrewed: Women, Sex, Power and How to Stop Letting the System Screw Us All. Her podcast, also called Unscrewed, is paving new paths to sexual liberation, and was named one of the Best Sex Podcasts by both Marie Claire and Esquire.

Follow Jaclyn on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook and learn more about her work over at her website.

Ev'Yan Whitney